Flirtation is not much more than a dumbed-down form of courtship,
a heroic attempt to present dime-store coquetry as high art.
Leopold Trepper
Flirtation:
A set of ceremonial behaviors, relics of long-forgotten mating rituals,
consisting of highly stylized mannerisms intended to attract attention
or seduce. There is a strong implication of frivolity, teasing, and
lack of serious intent.
As the dark, exotic "dragon lady" - in compellingly dreamlike waves of
silence - slowly blinks her enormously cruel blacker-than-black
almond eyes at you across the dimly illumined room, licking
her lips with all the merciless languor of a Persian cat
contemplating a delicacy she may, at her leisure, pounce on
and devour...
Here then is the dilemma of being entangled in a flirtation. A bizarre
compounding of the rapturously seductive and the treacly nightmarish,
somewhat akin to being slowly drowned in deliciously sweet, clinging
syrup. Being "vamped" by a desirable woman provides a dizzying ego
boost, but with a cloying aftertaste. Are you being courted, or merely
toyed with? Is the women set on you in particular, or would
any other available male have done just as well? Is this "for real",
or just a flirtation?
In times past, flirting skills passed down as part of the folklore, from mother to daughter, from sister to sister, and in the peer group. In the modern era, the so-called art of flirtation propagates by crude imitation, prepackaged in cellophane, its exaggerated theatrical gestures making up in clumsy aggressiveness what is lacking in subtlety. The end result is a one-size-fits-all generic flirtation module, something completely useless for non-mainstream shy folk. The purveyors of this schlock are (what else?) television and the video candy that passes for cinema.
Flirting has become little more than a shopworn cliché. It serves
as a shoddy counterfeit for the graceful interplay between the sexes.
Where now is the sultry appeal of a Lauren Bacall teasing Bogart in "To
Have Or Have Not", the finely delineated presence, the deadly,
haunting beauty of a Jean Tierney in "Laura"? And where can be found a
man of a stature sufficient to evoke such smoldering passion?
Considering your particular circumstance, shyness, acting grossly out
of character invariably results in awkward, stilted behavior. You risk
making a fool of yourself, and for little gain. For your personality
type, a more straightforward approach, an open and 'honest' courtship
generally works out better.
As always, the key to controlling the situation is knowing your place in the
scheme of things.